I went to the store and asked how much authenticity cost?
The attendant laughed and asked exactly what authenticity was I looking for?
I said, "good, old-fashioned authenticity."
And the attendant said, "Oh, you mean like when the men that wrote 'all men are created equal under God' were the same men that owned several hundred slaves?"
I said, "Gosh, that sounds real expensive. Got anything affordable?"
"Yes," said the attendant, "there is an ongoing sale on authentic double standards. It's your basic two-for-one price."
After thinking a moment I answered, "You know what, I'll skip on the authenticity. Instead I'll buy that new book, Publi/City: Towards a new product placement. I think it's from some virtual publisher called Quondam."